SERIOUSLY THIS IS A THOUSAND TIMES MORE FUCKING LIKELY
Hi! Thanks for the question. I do understand where your concern comes from; however, this is not a rape case. They started dating when she was 17....
It’s fascinating…the things that I am supposed to be “flattered” by. People practically demand that I be flattered by certain mistreatment, injustice and oppression, and then question my level of “sensitivity” or even my intelligence when I am not flattered.
Putting together a guest lecture on personal autonomy, fat embodiment, thin privilege and deconstructing health. Yeah fuckers we talk about this stuff off the internets.
Sirena J. Riley, “The Black Beauty Myth” (via wretchedoftheearth)
Why white fat activists need to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up with their fucking racist ass “Black men LOVE fat women” bullshit.
NO THE FUCK THEY DON’T.
Fat Black women are DESPISED. We are always blamed for the vitriol that we receive, because Mammy deserves to be hated when she dares try to come out of her station.
I think also that just because we have weight standards that aren’t as restrictive as whites, it doesn’t mean their isn’t restriction for fat Black women or that they never get ridiculed. Their is a lot of fucked up ways of teasing fat Black women within the community white people wouldn’t even recognize. And when black men treat white fat women differently than black fat women its saying lots
White fat people have been told it’s not that Black People or indeed, Working class people of all races including White aren’t replete with fat hate, it’s just that it hasn’t reached the level of boundless hysteria that it has reached in the mainstream. WMP especially have imbued it with a false air of legitimacy through their hold on science and medicine.
There’s no one to challenge or interrupt this view. That can only come from the critical scrutiny of others such as themselves. And that is why something as weak as the ‘obesity’ mess has managed to advance this far.
That seems a difficult message to grasp, perhaps because WMP, or MP in general are supposed to be innately intelligent, balanced and rational. To such an extent that reports of their actual behaviour have to be altered to fit this self image.(via bumsquash)
Yesterday there was a post floating around on tumblr that was a drawing of a fat disabled woman with the signs “Fuck Diets” covering her naked flesh. What many people saw was a person rejecting diet culture and the shame that comes along with not only being fat but also being disabled. Something that was suppose to be positive was turned into a conflict due to a few trolls that wanted to decide that this fictional person was disabled due to an illness not being taken care of. I find it pointless to discuss the semantics of the whole conversation because I find the idea that people are putting a label of disease on a fat body, a disabled and fictional drawing of a body ludicrous. It is truthfully the sign of how much fat stigma is alive in our society that even a drawing meant to be positive and show body diversity is turned into something it isn’t.
What I want to talk about is the reaction from the people who were trashing the drawing by saying that their response was a hypothetical situation the drawing could be depicting. When people say that they are speaking hypothetically what they really mean is that they are not talking about you, so you don’t have the right to find what they are saying offensive. This kind of response to a push back against negative comments is not only meant to try and negate the emotional reaction of those people who are offended, but is also a way to try and silence the ability of anyone who takes issue with the person’s harmful stance. By saying that they are talking about a hypothetical situation it also makes it so that a person who has had their own body read in a similar fashion has no space to speak out, because clearly they are not speaking about actual situations that have happened to actual people.
Attacking a drawing, that doesn’t depict a real person, gives people who are blinded by their own prejudice an ability to try and remove their own responsibility that is connected to the harm their words cause. The issue really isn’t that they are reading a drawing of a person that was meant to be positive, but that they are trying to negate the reality that their words have been said about real people, with real bodies that live in reality. Their lives and body should never be used as a hypothetical situation.
When fat disabled bodies are read as a being the result of an inability to take care of ones self that is not only fat phobia but also ableism in action. When someone sees a fat disabled body and automatically assumes that the state of their body is the end result of mismanaged care that is directly related to growing up in a society where you are socialized with fat phobic thinking. We are continually taught fat people have X illness and that illness results in X state of body, then our minds fill in the blank. Without challenging social conditioning no one is able to break away from the fat stigma that is so ingrained within our society.
By not breaking away from prejudice, people create these hypothetical situations while forgetting that there are real people with real bodies who have and continue to deal with people who do not think hypothetically about the way they read their body. All of us learn to read bodies in a way that doesn’t allow for us accept difference in others but question why someone else’s body exists as it does. Instead of allowing for bodies to merely exist many react with fear and push back trying to understand through ableism and fat phobia, speaking in hypothetical’s to try and protect their own discomfort.
If ANOTHER person tries to tell me that being called mean names or told to eat a sandwich is the same as government backed campaigns to make fat people no longer exist I’m going to blow a fucking gasket. Body shaming is horrible no matter who it happens to but the idea that people are comparing words to numerous industries that are trying to find a “cure” for fatness is ridiculous. I’m going to need all of the readers of Bitch who wrote on their facebook page about this story to sit down and shut the fuck up when discussing a girl who seriously believes that girls are taught being fat is the ideal and started a kickstarter campaign to make a book that looks like every fucking magazine in the history of forever.
I would really love for someone to find an industry whose main purpose is to find a cure for thinness. If you answer with the food industry you have already failed. Go and find out who owns Jenny Craig asshat.
….that our condition is a product of us being intrinsically; dishonest, corrupt(ing) and just plain old bad, has damaged trust between fat and slim.
The readiness to believe the worst of us, the seemingly permanent assumption of bad faithis off-putting.
fatbodypolitics answered your question: Is the world divided into death fats and acceptable fats or something?I don’t like the terms people use to categorize fatness it’s about understanding how experiences differ depending on size/access to privilege
I agree. For the sake of talking about my experiences at all, I pat around in the dark for what terms are out there.
I’ve heard fat, fatty, morbidly obese, chubby, obese, chubby bunny, queen sized, squishy, super obese, overweight, death fat, chunky, curvy, hourglass, pear, bear (I think that counts), people of size, larger people, big people, round, etc. etc.
I’ve even read someone argue that we shouldn’t call ourselves fat at all because its not a descriptive word 0_0
I’m answering your other post as well…
Death fat was first used by Lesley Kinzel to poke fun at the category of morbidly obese on BMI charts. I don’t use it as an identity because most people have taken on that identity due to BMI charts. I am a death fat in that case but my access to power / privilege is far greater than fats that are larger than me. I also don’t use it because its reusing a system of categories that are used to oppress us. I’m all for it being taken on as a deviant form of identity as a way to subvert the context of BMI charts but this privilege needs to be addressed as well. As a 41 on a BMI chart my experiences are different than larger fats, they could also be different for fats that are the same height / weight as me but live in a different location.
As far as terms go I stay away from O words primarily because of the way they imply disease on fat bodies, this is also why in my writing I say fat people as a neutral term that doesn’t imply negative connotations. I’m also not to keen on describing my body with objects only because it feels dehumanizing and a ton of weight loss language surrounds those discussions. I’m thinking muffin top, spare tire, even pear and apple etc. It recreates this idea that my body is made up of parts not part of me but something that can / should be removed.
The words you use to describe your body are ones that only you get to choose. It’s your body to decide. Trying to control the way other people use language to connect with their body feels like it is constricting the way people share their experiences, we should be more focused on people sharing their experiences in the first place. It took a long time for me to be able to decide what words I wanted to use for myself and my writing but it is a good experience to go though.
You don’t get to say “I’m an ally” and expect people to back off when you are saying harmful things. This is why “ally” is an identity that I am uncomfortable with since it always seems to support someone being ignorant, if you seriously want to support a movement that means you will be in a continual never ending process of unlearning. That means listening when other people who you are suppose to be an “ally” for when they tell you that you are doing something harmful. It means not dismissing the entire movement because you refuse to acknowledge or understand the privileged space you take up. It means not expecting a cookie because you are such a good “ally.”
This may sound stupid, but I’m not exactly fat. More like chubby. Am I allowed to be part of the Fat Acceptance movement? I support all the ideas and think it is a wonderful movement. I just don’t post about it very much because I’m a little wary of being… shunned? I guess because I know I don’t really go through the struggles that most fast people do. I’m generally accepted by society. :/
This is not a stupid question. This is not a stupid question. This is not a stupid question.
There is no clear line between fat and thin. Fat is gendered (men get to be fatter with fewer consequences). Fat is seen through race/ethnicity (the myth of fat acceptance in POC communities, particularly Black communities [as if that’s a homogenous thing. I know. I’m talking about what white people write about in books.]). Fat is aged. Fat is seen through ability (Sarah Robles vs a fat person using a cane, scooter, wheelchair etc). Fat is contextual. This is important because we need to know how we are positioned in order to understand how fat hate works and how we can fight against it.
So, how do you act? Own your privilege. That’s a thing that gets said a lot. Here’s what I mean. Know that you’re not really that fat (insert whatever language works for you). Know that the ways in which you act will be read differently because of your size. Use your privilege. Challenge people who say fucked up things about fat bodies so that I and other fatties don’t have to. Don’t speak over fatties. If a fatty is making an argument or critique, cite your sources and let them speak. Remember that lived experience is expertise beyond some shit you saw on TV and even academic theory.
As for what you should do that is activism, do what you’re already doing but do it better. If you’re on tumblr, reblog shit fatties say. If you’re out with friends who say fucked up shit, challenge them. If you’re into art, make political art. Or not. Activism looks like a thousand different things, from loud public campaigns for law reform to quiet moments of everyday life.
In any case, with all forms of activism you’re going to fuck up. (Should I put a *spoiler alert* there?) We all fuck up because we’re enveloped in patriarchal, colonial, capitalist, white supremacist bullshit. Be ready to feel uncomfortable. Be ready to apologize. A real apology: “I’m sorry for [action]. I see that it’s hurtful because [explanation optional, but highly encouraged]. I will work to do better.” Working to do better means continuing to educate yourself and challenging yourself to unlearn behaviors and ideas. And if you’re ever sorry for the way you made someone feel, you’re not actually sorry. There is no such thing as perfect activism. But there is thoughtful and compassionate activism.
And fuck people who support them even when they know they make this community feel unsafe for other people.