Happy Valentines Day - A “I really don’t care about relationships” Post

For all of my followers, friends and anyone else who didn’t get an actual card from me, this is for you.

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alittlebitfurther:

Found on my walk.

alittlebitfurther:

Found on my walk.

Tags: Found love

on “loving your body.”

onegirlrhumba:

(nb: edited from previous version for clarity and reposting it in revised form.)

i’m sick and fucking tired of pretending that “loving your body” and rejecting fat-shaming on an individual level does anything to change issues relating to beauty and thin privilege, or that it has any effect on the institutions and structures that perpetuate them.  it does nothing to change the fact that larger people or people viewed as less attractive are widely viewed as less intelligent, as incompetent, or as lazy.  it doesn’t change the fact that larger people have worse health care outcomes or that they are less likely to be hired for jobs and, if they are hired, are often paid less than their thinner or more conventionally attractive colleagues.  it does nothing to combat the pathologization of fatness.  by itself, it doesn’t do anything to change the greater culture.  i, along with many other people, attempt to reject that culture and participate in or create alternate possibilities, but it’s important to remember that these spaces aren’t accessible to everyone who could benefit from participation.  it’s not enough.

here’s a corollary to that: while people who identify as women are inundated with messages that devalue female-coded bodies, sexualize them (in ways that are often deeply imbricated with the simultaneous racialization of such bodies), and present them as being in constant need of improvement, i wonder if the focus on body acceptance doesn’t end up being the same ideas, articulated differently.  certainly, our bodies shape our lived realities, are inescapable, and must be taken into consideration in political or sociological or philosophical conversations.  body acceptance may shift the ways in which these realities are enacted on some level, or at least the way realities are materialized.  but, for many people, bodies can be hard to love, and i’m not sure how necessary it is that many of us “love” them in the ways that body-acceptance proponents believe we should.  for my own part, my neuro-atypical, ethnically marked, formerly anorexic body is difficult to love.  i generally accept my body, understand where it fits into my reality, reject family members’ offers of plastic surgery to “correct” it, live in it.  it is, in some ways, a resistant body.  ”loving” it is not necessarily part of that resistance, nor do i think it needs to be.  a body is not an object that can be detached from a “mind,” an object that can be separately valued and loved.  bodies should not be devalued, and should be free from exploitation, violence, and abuse, but it is not always necessary to love them simply because they are bodies.  (though i would argue that the more culturally and socially devalued a given body is, the more important it is that it is cared for and valued.)

the fact that “love your body” rhetoric shifts the responsibility for body acceptance over to the individual, and away from communities, institutions, and power, is also problematic.  individuals who do not love their bodies, who find their bodies difficult to love, are seen as being part of the problem.  the underlying assumption is that if we all loved our bodies just as they are, our fat-shaming, beauty-policing culture would be different.  if we don’t love our bodies, we are, in effect, perpetuating normative (read: impossible) beauty standards.  if we don’t love our individual bodies, we are at fault for collectively continuing the oppressive and misogynistic culture.  if you don’t love your body, you’re not trying hard enough to love it.  in this framework, your body is still the paramount focus, and one way or another, you’re failing.  it’s too close to the usual body-shaming, self-policing crap, albeit with a few quasi-feminist twists, for comfort.

tl;dr not all bodies are easy to love, or lovable.  challenge normative beauty-standards and fat-shaming on collective and structural levels rather than believing that “loving your body” is enough to change shit.  understand how your body materializes your lived reality and respect it, but don’t feel required to love it.

(via stophatingyourbody)

iheartkissingboys:

Pro-Gay religious counter-protesters at Atlanta Pride.

iheartkissingboys:

Pro-Gay religious counter-protesters at Atlanta Pride.

(via fuckyeahfeminists)

fatshopaholic:

New Post on www.fatshopaholic.com 
90’s Grunge
http://www.fatshopaholic.com/2012/10/90s-grunge.html
"Too often in our social justice endeavours we leave powerful human emotions like love and rage out of the equation, failing to recognize their transformational potential. When we allow love and rage to take up more space in our visions for a radically different world, we expose them as weapons, with profound potential to undermine fear and open up rich new possibilities ripe with beauty, compassion, and revolution. It is vital that we begin to disentangle love from the white supremacist, capitalist, heteronormative contexts it is currently embedded in and harness the productive power of rage in our social movements. When we emancipate love from its narrow economic confines of scarcity and commodification, we explode love, allowing it to flow in between and through the cracks, crevices, and canyons that the dividing monster of fear has used to separate us. The task is to explore what we can grow in these depths when we fill them with love and rage, instead of divisiveness and alienation."

Fleetwood Legay (on love and rage)

(via queerfatfemme)

redefiningbodyimage:

serious brilliance, right here.

redefiningbodyimage:

serious brilliance, right here.

(Source: iridessence)

andcorgimakesthree:

Baby baby wolfgang #corgi #cute #love #petstagram #corgistagram #igers #puppy #photooftheday (Taken with Instagram)

andcorgimakesthree:

Baby baby wolfgang #corgi #cute #love #petstagram #corgistagram #igers #puppy #photooftheday (Taken with Instagram)

(via dianoetic)

redefiningbodyimage:

Personal life update: Last night was filled with love. I am sore from smiling and dancing and embracing. I have never been more happy to be me. I just wanted to share.

<3 Haley

Guh I wish I was feeling up to going last night it looked like so much fun!

(Source: haleycue)

redefiningbodyimage:

nearsightedowl:

And to the guy that made a comment about my butt, this is my ass. Kiss it! Fuck flattering! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=502165136479733&amp;set=a.398375856858662.105380.111049822257935&amp;type=1&amp;relevant_count=1

THE BEST BUTT!

redefiningbodyimage:

nearsightedowl:

And to the guy that made a comment about my butt, this is my ass. Kiss it! Fuck flattering! https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=502165136479733&set=a.398375856858662.105380.111049822257935&type=1&relevant_count=1

THE BEST BUTT!

(Source: rachelecateyes)

Tags: butts bodies love

'10 Honest Thoughts On Being Loved By A Skinny Boy' - Rachel Wiley.

sweetdeltablues:

(I had to transcribe this poem, because it became an immediate favorite the second that I heard it.  I am over 70 pounds heavier than my boyfriend, and I have thought, felt and said all of these things before.  But he is perfect, and we are perfect together.)

10 HONEST THOUGHTS ON BEING LOVED BY A SKINNY BOY
Rachel Wiley

1.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says ‘No, you are beautiful.’
I wonder why I cannot be both.
He kisses me
hard.

2.
My college theater professor once told me
that despite my talent,
I would never be cast as a romantic lead.
We do plays that involve singing animals
and children with the ability to fly,
but apparently no one
has enough willing suspension of disbelief
to go with anyone loving a fat girl.
I daydream regularly
about fucking my boyfriend vigorously on his front lawn.

3.
On the mornings I do not feel pretty,
while he is still asleep,
I sit on the floor and check the pockets of his skinny jeans for motive,
for a punchline,
for other girls’ phone numbers.

4.
When we hold hands in public,
I wonder if he notices the looks —
like he is handling a parade balloon on a crowded sidewalk;
if he notices that my hands are now made of rope. 

5.
Dear Cosmo: Fuck you.
I will not take sex tips from you
on how to please a man you think I do not deserve.

6.
He tells me he loves me with the lights on.

7.
I can cup his hip bone in my hand,
feel his ribs without pressing very hard at all.
He does not believe me when I tell him he is beautiful. 
Sometimes I fear the day he does will be the day he leaves. 

8.
The cute hipster girl at the coffee shop
assumes we are just friends
and flirts over the counter.
I spend the next two weeks
mentally replacing myself with her
in all of our photographs.
When I admit this to him
we spend the evening taking new photos together.
He will not let me delete a single one of them.

9.
The phrase “Big girls need love too” can die in a fire.
Fucking me does not require an asterisk.
Loving me is not a fetish.
Finding me beautiful is not a novelty. 
I am not a fucking novelty.

10.
I say, ‘I am fat.’
He says, ‘No. You are so much more’,
and kisses me
hard. 

fuckmonosexismforever:

iminsane67:

Canada is unimpressed

Denmark looks like the happiest place on Earth.


Actually, per capita, Denmark is the happiest place on Earth.  The people there report an extremely high quality of living, low mental-illness and addiction rates, and low crime.  It is the happiest place on earth.

fuckmonosexismforever:

iminsane67:

Canada is unimpressed

Denmark looks like the happiest place on Earth.

Actually, per capita, Denmark is the happiest place on Earth.  The people there report an extremely high quality of living, low mental-illness and addiction rates, and low crime.  It is the happiest place on earth.

(Source: classymalcolm, via kweerslut-deactivated20130225)

theloveyourselfchallenge:

Today is my birthday and this year my goal is to undo the lies that I believe. My body is changing and I am not going to let the lies and ideas of this world steal away the love and respect that my body deserves. I am free to take up space in this world and my worth and value is not based on my appearance. So here is to another year of opportunity to fight the good fight and to continue embracing who I am today and who I am becoming &lt;3 

theloveyourselfchallenge:

Today is my birthday and this year my goal is to undo the lies that I believe. My body is changing and I am not going to let the lies and ideas of this world steal away the love and respect that my body deserves. I am free to take up space in this world and my worth and value is not based on my appearance. So here is to another year of opportunity to fight the good fight and to continue embracing who I am today and who I am becoming <3 

(via theloveyourselfchallenge)